don’t care

I don’t care what you think.

As much as I say I don’t care…I do. I want people to love me and accept me as I am…as I go through my own journey to figure out who I’m mean to be.

I give away enough information to have people call me a “friend”. However, I purposely keep those “friendships” surface level.

Hi, my name is Bri and I’m a people pleaser. I would much rather focus on you and helping you get what you need/want, than focus on myself.

I will hear what I think you want and even if it’s not what I want, I will analyze it in my head until I “turn” it to be “what I want”. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to disappoint you. Besides, if I can “see the justification, it can’t be that bad”. Except that…it can.

I need to listen to me. I need to live my truth. I need to explore my own beliefs.

BUT WHAT IF SOMEONE THINKS _____ ABOUT ME? (Do you hear/see the beginnings of my rabbit hole?) Even the idea of someone not being okay with me, sends a little anxiety through me.

Is it legal? Am I able to be honest? Is it consensual? Am I learning something? Is it hurting anyone? Does it make me smile? Those are real questions I should be thinking about.

Because worrying about constantly pleasing other people is never going to get me what I want out of life.

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