I always have these grandiose ideas that sometime during the middle to end of it I wish that someone had talked me out of it.
I realized not long after getting my bachelors degree that a degree in ____ wasn’t going to get me anywhere. I thought I knew it all at 18…so why wouldn’t I go against all advice? Anyways, I talked about going to grad school for years. Hubby was never against it, but I always said I was too busy and it cost too much money and I was still paying off my student loans from my undergrad. One month after I finished paying off that loan, I enrolled in grad school. I finished my grad school degree and immediately set my eyes on the international level certification for my particular job. Then I met John and Jackie and put my life on hold (and therefore my testing date). Fast forward almost two years…
I passed my test today. I am officially a “Certified Professional” in my line of work.
I always get to about 1-2 weeks out from whatever the big day is…whether it’s a recital or big presentation or interview or test…and I completely freak out. The anxiety runs super high and I question why I did what I did…why did I say yes to this big adventure…why did I even seek it out. I stress. I lose sleep. I go without eating and then I binge. I cry and scream. I doubt myself more than anyone should. But then, somehow…I manage to pull it out.
I find it ironic because I don’t like school. I don’t like the idea of a classroom and someone telling me what I need to read. BUT, I do value and enjoy education. I enjoy opening my mind and learning what I can.
I know that I am not an expert. I know that I still have biases that cause me to feel certain ways about certain things…we all do. No one can take my knowledge from me.
However…before I go try to do some other crazy educational adventure again…can someone please remind me of the stress that I go through during the process?!
Also…blogging about sex and partners is much more fun. LOL