slut

My hubby decided to go back to see a previous partner. I think I wrote about her in my posting about being diagnosed with HPV. She wasn’t the meta who was understanding and willing to work together…no, she was the one who said “since when did Bri have another partner and why wouldn’t she use protection?”

That comment didn’t hit me right three months ago when it was said…but I had put it behind me because shortly after that, she had disappeared into the night and my hubby hadn’t hear from her in months. Rewind to three weeks ago and I find out that she had reached back out and she and my hubby were talking again. It rubbed me the wrong way, but I couldn’t figure out why. This week he went to see her.

All of a sudden that comment came rushing back. Both of the partners that I had been with in the previous six months had been in my life for much longer than she had. After learning about my HPV, I talked with my doctor. I read everything I could. Had she done the same thing, maybe she would have known that I could have been carrying this virus around with me for DECADES and still test negative. That the majority of women test negative unless they have an outbreak. Think chicken pox…the virus is there forever, but that doesn’t mean that you know you have them. (Side note…how the fuck is it 2022 and guys can’t be tested for that yet?!)

One of the things that I have experienced in every other relationship I have been in since opening up my marriage is that when you are in this lifestyle, it takes a lot of communication. We have multiple partners. There are risks associated with that. We need to communicate when those risks pop up…what we can’t do is shame each other for the choices that we have made.

Slut-shaming is the practice of criticizing people, especially women and girls, who are perceived to violate expectations of behavior and appearance regarding issues related to sexuality. The term is used to reclaim the word slut and empower women and girls to have agency over their own sexuality. (taken from Wikipedia).

I have never considered myself a slut. Yes, I have sex. Yes, with multiple people. Sometimes I have even been known to have sex with multiple people at one time. If that makes me a slut in your eyes…well…that says way more about you than it does me.

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