I don't deserve it. Photo by Sebastian Su00f8rensen on Pexels.com Those are dangerous words. Words that logically I know are not true, but words that I feel deep within my soul. I begin to jump down my rabbit holes. Why would someone love me? Don't they see how imperfect I am? Don't they realize that …
Tag: vulnerability
terrified to disappoint
I peed on the stick while he was at work. This was a horrible idea...because when there turned out to be two pink lines rather than just one, I panicked. I peed on another one in hopes that maybe the first one was a false negative. It came back with two lines. I peed on …
i stay quiet
There are moments in my life where I want to think that things are good. That I have people who care about me unconditionally. Who accept me for everything I am. But then something happens or something is said and it makes me question all of it. I overthink things. I know I do. As …
look what caring gets me
I am completely overwhelmed and stressed out. I'm exhausted. I'm not sure if I want to scream or cry. Maybe scream until I cry. I want to be the best for everyone. I want to be able to provide everything that I promised and more to everyone. I want to give them more than what …
he takes her
I don't know about you, but most of the time if someone were to ask me where I was yesterday or what I had to eat or drink, I would seriously have to think about it and even then I might not be able to come up with an answer for you. If it was …
is anyone with me
I remember noticing something different about their interaction one day. I couldn’t tell you what was different…just that something was. Erin had brought her husband and kid over to hang out and grill and enjoy ourselves. She wanted to get in her little baby snuggles with my son while our girls did was little girls …
swept up
Do you really ever heal from past hurts? I got to thinking about the fact that we have all had things in our lives that have hurt us...whether physically, mentally, emotionally... but do we ever truly heal from those hurts or do we just learn a new way of life? Do we put up our …
know me
"How are you?""Fine. How are you?" Most of the time I'm not just fine. That's not how my emotions work. I have big feelings. I have big beliefs. I have stories and dreams. I have memories and regrets. But I don't share those feelings. I want to be known. But I'm terrified of letting my …
what would you write
Photo by Linda Eller-Shein on Pexels.com If you had to write on these post-it notes the labels about yourself...what would you write? MomWifeFriendDaughterSisterAuntIn-law Let's go deeper... fearful and surpriseddepressed and thankfulanxious and peacefuldreadful and satisfiedalone and supportedscarred and triumphantinadequate and astoundedinsecure and secureguilty and passionatehopeless and eagersadness and affectionatehurt and optimisticresentful and hopefuldisgusted and excitedconfused …
friend groups
As I look back on the friends that I have had in my life, I have always had different groups of friends. Elementary School: Sunday School friends. School friends. Middle School: Church friends. School friends. High School: Church friends. Neighborhood friends. Band friends. Popular friends. Awkward crowd friends. College: Band friends. Chapel friends. Home friends. …
Journey to Exist 