I’m not happy lately. I put the smile on my face and push through each day. No one knows the other side. No one knows because I go to great lengths to hide it. It’s embarrassing when someone asks you how you are to tell them “actually not great.” Most people would probably stand there …
Tag: depression
my son
My son is the one who drives me crazy but he is my life. He’s 9 years old and ridiculously smart when it comes to animals. His dream is to go work at Australia Zoo with Steve Irwin’s family. I remember when he was younger he came up to me with some random animal fact …
something
I have no idea what or when, but I can tell something is coming. Something is off. I’m exhausted while fully rested. I feel lost. I feel lonely despite being with a house full of people. I feel on edge. My anxiety is through the roof. I could cry at the drop of a hat. …
tired of the hurts
I’m constantly worried with those that I care about (and sometimes even those that I don’t care about) if I’ve offended them or hurt them on some way. Did I say something wrong? Did I do something without realizing? Did I not take into account the feelings of others? Too often I think that it’s …
dangerous words
I don't deserve it. Photo by Sebastian Su00f8rensen on Pexels.com Those are dangerous words. Words that logically I know are not true, but words that I feel deep within my soul. I begin to jump down my rabbit holes. Why would someone love me? Don't they see how imperfect I am? Don't they realize that …
i stay quiet
There are moments in my life where I want to think that things are good. That I have people who care about me unconditionally. Who accept me for everything I am. But then something happens or something is said and it makes me question all of it. I overthink things. I know I do. As …
drowning
Sometimes the what-ifs just scream in my head. They place doubt where there shouldn't be doubts. The cause me to fear what is and what could be. I end up feeling like I'm drowning and can't get air. Therapy helps. When I'm in therapy, it's my air source. It seems so easy to float on …
what would you write
Photo by Linda Eller-Shein on Pexels.com If you had to write on these post-it notes the labels about yourself...what would you write? MomWifeFriendDaughterSisterAuntIn-law Let's go deeper... fearful and surpriseddepressed and thankfulanxious and peacefuldreadful and satisfiedalone and supportedscarred and triumphantinadequate and astoundedinsecure and secureguilty and passionatehopeless and eagersadness and affectionatehurt and optimisticresentful and hopefuldisgusted and excitedconfused …
what’s my diagnosis?
So one of the great things about the internet is that you can look up every little symptom that you might have. The problem with that logic is that you're looking up every little symptom online and a simple head could be just that or a brain tumor that has you dying tomorrow. If you've …
are you happy yet
A couple of days before Christmas, I posted on my Facebook page a message along with a picture that said I was trying to be real. I was trying to put it out there, that no matter how much society tells us to be happy, that I just couldn't. I know that many people had …
Journey to Exist 