puzzle pieces

I like doing puzzles.  It’s not something I do often…especially at home due to dog noses and tails and a cat who play hockey.  But at holidays – especially the ones during the cold months – my parents always have puzzles out.  My aunts and uncles who are there to celebrate with us join in and we can spend hours sitting around the table talking and laughing and working on the puzzles.  There is a weird sense of accomplishment when you find that one piece that you’ve been looking for…you know the one I’m talking about…the one that you think should be easy because it has the “streak of green” in the middle of it…but the one that you can’t seem to find.  Until you see it…then you wonder all along how you have missed it over and over again. 

Think about relationships… we are looking for our “person”.  That one who “fits” with us.  Think about how many times you have tried to make that puzzle piece fit.  That thought of “oh…if I can just get this person to…”.  Just because the piece fits, doesn’t mean it’s the right piece.  Maybe the color is slightly off.  Maybe the pattern no longer makes sense.  Maybe there is just a small gap where you don’t think there should be.  The same goes for relationships and even friendships.  We may start to realize that the person we thought fit in doesn’t fit the way we want them too.  Sometimes it is obvious to begin with and there are other times where we are convinced it’s a fit and then when we realize it’s not fit, its disappointment. 

It’s not just relationships that we are looking for that puzzle piece in our lives.  It is also our friends. We want that friend who can be a part of our puzzle.  Our closes friends being those right next to our piece.  The further out you go from your central puzzle piece, the farther away they are…the best friends, the close friends, the friends, the acquaintances…you get it.   The hard part isn’t the outer pieces – the edges – those acquaintances.  Even the background…those friends.  Or the supporting pieces as close friends.  It’s as you zero in on the pieces that are closer to my central piece.  Those that fall into that “best friend” and relationship categories…those are the pieces that tend to be hard to find.  Those are the pieces that when we are younger we try to force. 

I am lucky.  I have a few of my immediate pieces figured out.  I’m old enough to know what I want from those in my life.  I know how past puzzle pieces haven’t fit and I have a better idea of if those same things are appearing now. 

Obviously hubby is one of my pieces.  He and I have been through the big stuff and the small stuff. I know that he’s one of the puzzle pieces.

I also know that Ann is one of my immediate puzzle pieces. She is one of my best friends. She has been through the last few years with me and her faithfulness to our friendship hasn’t waivered. She is real with me…whether I like what she has to say or not. She is a puzzle piece for me.

But as I wrote about a few days ago, I was still looking for something. I wanted another partner, but not a sexual partner. It was the missing piece in my puzzle.

Last night, hubby, Georgette and I went out for dinner. I watched their smiles and we all laughed and talked. We sat down and discussed what we were feeling and what we wanted. We knew what we wanted, but to verbalize it and express it to another person is terrifying. What if they don’t want what I want? What if two of the three of us are on a different page? What if someone’s feelings are hurt?

Hubby asked Georgette to be his girlfriend. I was shocked – in a good way. I wish I had been filming it…his excited-ness and her eagerness to say yes was something special. I asked her to be my girlfriend too. Not in a sexually intimate way, but in a way of commitment..my way of saying that I want something more with her…a level of intimacy none the less.

Last night I went to bed feeling like all of my puzzle pieces were in place. I felt happy. I felt comfortable. I felt loved.

Photo by Tara Winstead on Pexels.com

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