i felt it

I like to think of myself as a somewhat decent writer.  That most of the times that I can find the right words to clearly explain my feelings and thoughts regarding a given situation.  I want to give my readers an experience when they read what I write.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.  Sometimes I know it just based on my feelings after I’ve completed writing.  Sometimes I wonder and have to just wait to see what type of feedback I get. 

I have been friends with Georgette for quite a while.  Hubby has been her friend for a couple of years too.  But recently that has changed.  Hubby has always been flirty with her and he was upfront saying “yes, Bri knows and it’s okay”.  But that sentence and knowing that we are poly are two different ideas. 

The other night after an extremely long and emotional day, I was able to witness something that I didn’t think was possible.  It was 1:30am and Georgette and I got back to her house where my hubby was with our kids.  I gave him a hug and then went to sit down.  I knew that they wanted to hug and kiss.  The first time they had kissed was when they were drunk and trying not to be seen, so they needed this moment.  They needed a chance to not have to hide and just see what happened.  Yes, I love seeing my hubby happy.  I love knowing that he has a smile on his face.  But this time was different.  Hubby and Georgette hugged.  I could see just her back and his arms wrapped around her.  I knew they were kissing.  But this blog isn’t about what they did.  This is about how I felt. 

Compersion is an idea that I’ve talked about before.  I wrote a blog on it…it’s said to be the opposite of jealousy. 

I don’t know how to explain what I felt when I saw them hug that night.  It wasn’t just the opposite of jealousy.  It wasn’t just happiness.  I have felt those before when he had partners.  This was something different.  I felt at peace.  It felt right.  Even hubby had said that earlier – “it felt right when I hugged her”.  I felt safe. I felt love.

Photo by vjapratama on Pexels.com

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