We are not perfect (shocking, I know). We are far from it. We make mistakes. We make poor choices. We are selfish. We make excuses.
Then there are moments where we realize that we fucked it up. That the decisions that we’ve made have hurt those we love.
Maybe those decisions are something that we have come to regret. Maybe those decisions are something that we realize made us who we are. Maybe those decisions are something that we want to re-do in our life.
Some of us take time to think about what we have done and those we have hurt and used our life to try and right the wrongs. We apologize. We read. We pray (however that might look for you). We surround ourselves with those who lift us up. We look to those who can teach us. Some of us try for reconciliation. Some of us look at those that we lost as some of the biggest heartbreaks that we will ever know. But being someone has been scorned in the past, I also understand that sometimes reconciliation isn’t an easy idea to even consider.
Do I want to reconcile with some of the people I have wronged in the past? Yes. Do I wish that I had made different choices? Yes. Do I wish that things hadn’t ended the way they had? Yes. Do I recognize that it was my choices that made the hurts and pains make reconciliation difficult? Yes. Do I realize that I have made the choices that lead me to where I am? Yes.
At what point…if any…do we say
* that we’ve tried enough?
* that we have worked hard enough?
* that we deserve to be happy regardless of what others think?
* that we have done everything in our power to make things right?
* that we can’t travel down the one-way street anymore?
* that we deserve more?
At what point do we say that we are done trying? At what point do I say that holding on to the regrets and the idea that reconciliation is hurting me more than the hurt of losing/pushing them?
There is no good answer. No one can tell us the “right” answer.