music took me back

Music has this amazing way of taking me back to points in time that I may not have thought about in years. There are certain ones that take us all back…graduation songs. Wedding songs. Then there are songs that you didn’t realize you had that type of memory associated with.

I’m a musician. Or at least I like to think of myself as a musician. I no longer perform for others. Now I “perform” from the quiet of my house for my dogs…and sometimes my family.

The other night I sat down and pulled out a book of music that has seen better days…the pages are falling out…the cover is all wrinkly from getting wet at some point…some of the pages are stained from who knows what. Even though I haven’t played this piece in years, it flowed so effortlessly (I love pieces I don’t need to “practice” anymore). It felt good to just let it happen. What I didn’t expect was my mind to start bringing up memories from almost 20 years ago – especially since the song I was playing wasn’t one that I would have associated with those memories!

I was performing (in what would be one of my last big performances) with all my friends and family there watching me. After I was done and said my thank yous for coming and saying hi to all those that I knew, I walked outside to see my (now) Hubby sitting in his car. I was with some of my friends who went ahead of me and told me to catch up when I was done. He got out of his car with a dozen red roses.

Technically he was going through his divorce. Technically we had gone on our first date together. But, there until the divorce was finalized and things had calmed down, I didn’t need too many people knowing…especially those of us who knew both of us. We weren’t ready for everyone to know. We didn’t want to give his ex any reasons to make the divorce take any longer than necessary.

In that moment as he handed me a dozen roses and gave me a kiss outside on a cool but clear night, I felt like the only woman in the world.

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