I got yelled at today for over half an hour by an employee who was angry over some things. One of the things that he said multiple times was how he had “anger issues”. Don’t worry…this blog isn’t going to be about me complaining about my job or about my job at all.

It has to do with the huge iceberg that is ANGER.

• I’m angry that my team didn’t win.
• I’m angry that my dog stole a loaf of bread.
• I’m angry that no one switched the laundry.
• I’m angry that my alarm goes off so early.
• I’m angry that people keep interrupting me.
• I’m angry that no one listened to me.
• I’m angry that my hubby is going to an event without me.
• I’m angry that you don’t respect me.
• I’m angry when people drive too slow.
• I’m angry when people make assumptions.
• I’m angry when my child doesn’t eat.
• I’m angry that I have to go to the doctor/dentist.
• ***these are examples only and not indicative of any particular time in my life***

When I’m “angry”, it shows…at least to those who know me the most. And if they question me about my anger? How do I answer… Am I giving you the silent treatment? Am I telling you “I’m fine”? Is my answer “it’s nothing”?

Maybe it’s because those answers are true…at least if I’m talking about anger…because anger isn’t the problem. Anger isn’t the real emotion that I have sitting with me. Anger just happens to be the “easy” emotion. Anger can cover up the hard, raw emotions that may be at my core.

• embarrassment
• scared/terrified
• overwhelmed
• depressed
• annoyed
• guilty
• insecure
• hurt/grief
• attacked
• rejected
• disappointed
• lonely

I could go on and on… those emotions are harder to deal with. Those emotions put me in a vulnerable state. It’s hard enough for me to recognize them in myself, let alone be able to open up to another person about that actual feeling. Normally by the time I recognize those feelings, my gut reaction of anger has pushed the rest of the world far enough away that I have no one left. It’s not intentional by any means, but it’s not healthy either.

So…what did I do after getting yelled at today? I cried (it’s my gut reaction to most events in life). Then I got angry. Now I’m thinking about everything behind the anger…because there is always more behind the anger…