not okay

I’m not happy lately.

I put the smile on my face and push through each day. No one knows the other side. No one knows because I go to great lengths to hide it.

It’s embarrassing when someone asks you how you are to tell them “actually not great.” Most people would probably stand there dumbfounded while others would want to know every little detail as to why. Or they’d tell me something along the lines of “but you have so much good in your life…” and start naming things that they consider good.

Is easier to smile and pretend that I’m not struggling. It’s easier to say I’m tired and just go to bed than explain why I’m sitting in a dark bedroom alone. It’s easier than trying to find words that aren’t there.

Being vulnerable is hard…even in blog form where you don’t know me.

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