I remember very little from when I was younger in terms of sex education. In fact, I can sum it up pretty easily in 5 bullet points:
- Sex is for married couples. ONLY.
- If you have sex, you will get an STI (and it will be the most horrific thing that could ever happen to you)
- Condoms can and will break.
- You will get pregnant, and your life will be over.
- Don’t have sex.
Yup. That was my education about sex.
What about these other aspects of sex:
- Sex is natural.
- There are multiple variations of sex… oral, p/v, anal…sometimes you need to specify what you are talking about.
- Sex doesn’t equal love.
- No means NO. Anything besides an enthusiastic yes, means No.
- Don’t fake it.
- Multiple orgasms.
- There are different kinds of orgasms?!
- If you like it…tell the guy/girl that!
- If it hurts…stop.
- Be willing to try.
- Communicate. If you can’t talk about it, you probably shouldn’t be doing it..
- It’s okay to laugh WITH your partner.
- Sometimes the noises that bodies make are funny.
- Condoms will fit the guy no matter what size they are.
- Get checked for STIs regularly.
- The vast majority of STIs are common and easy to treat.
- Most women do not look like porn stars.
- Most guys don’t look like porn stars either.
- The wet spot.
- If he isn’t concerned about pleasing you, he isn’t worth it.
- Rape and sexual assault happen more than people talk about…it’s not your fault.
- Ask questions.
- Be comfortable with your own body and what feels good to you.
- Birth control in addition to a condom is a good idea.
- It’ll be different each and every time you do it.
- It’s okay to not orgasm.
- Be honest about any/all partners that you have.
- It’s okay to enjoy sex.
- It’s okay to want sex.
- It’s okay to ask for sex.
I could go on and on.
Just think how amazing it could be if rather than saying “sex is bad” we were able to talk about it. Openly. Respectfully. Lovingly.
Think about the conversations we could have…
- What feels good…
- Have you tried…
- My partner was able to make me…
- This position worked really well for…
Think about the sex that we could have…