swinger or poly

Swinging: a lifestyle of non-monogamy where sexual relations occur outside the established couple. Swingers tend to refrain from romantic attachments with their outside partners.

Polyamory: the practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved.

(both definitions taken from urbandictionary.com)

Photo by Sora Shimazaki on Pexels.com

The question has been posed…why do I prefer poly over swinging?

Not that there is anything wrong with swinging, but it’s not for me. If it works for some people, that is awesome. But I prefer poly for a simple reason. I’m a feelings person. As much as I don’t want to be sometimes because it causes heartbreak, I am. I don’t necessarily fall in love with all of my partners…at least not the “in love” that some people relate with, but I love all of them… I crave their friendships, I crave the connection. I want to be able to have that relationship of asking how their day was or grabbing a bite to eat. I want a connection to last. I want something long term. I want people who I can trust and communicate with. I want to have the choice of becoming fluid-bonded with someone. I want to know that I am more than just another notch on someones belt.

The beautiful thing about polyamory, is that no two polycules look alike. How I interact with my partners is going to be different than how someone else does. If we choose to have labels, it doesn’t even necessarily mean the same thing between partners. And that is okay.

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