A safe word… a code word. A word that simply allows me to tell my partner that we are about to cross a boundary and it needs to stop.
I’ll be honest, I don’t have a safe word. I should. Since hubby and I are experimenting more in our sexual relationship, we are pressing boundaries so it’s the smart thing to do. I should also make sure that I use it with future partners.
The whole point is that I would be able to let go…100% uninhibited sex. Acting out desires. Freedom to explore. Being able to play. Getting lost in a moment.
Safe words set a boundary (I’m bad at boundaries…we’ll explore that another day). It allows me and my partner to know what I am consenting to. Or…what they are consenting to. And just because a safe word is used one day doesn’t mean that it would be used in the same situation on another day.
I don’t even know what I would want to use as a safeword. A past partner of mine used “Anne Hathaway”. Okay…not my thing. I don’t want to be yelling someone else’s name during sexual adventures.
Red – Seems a little boring for me…but I do appreciate that it’s only one syllable.
Pineapple – that was the one featured on an episode of The Jimmy Fallon Show with Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel. Laughed my ass off with that.
The point would be to choose something that the chances of me saying during a sex session are so slim, that there is no question of my intentions and what I want. However…then it makes me think…what happens if I can’t talk? No…seriously. What if I have a ball gag in my mouth? I guess then I would need a different sign… snapping? Clapping? Humming? My problem would be I can think of things that might not allow me to do any of those things… hehe.
I guess it comes down to trust. I need to trust who I’m playing with. Luckily the guys that I have played with since opening my marriage have been amazing when it comes to consent and trust…I haven’t ever felt like I was going to put myself in a situation where I needed a safeword…but in case I ever do…be prepared to have that talk with me.