I have been thinking how to write this blog. This is a hard thing to admit because of the amount of judgement that comes with it. The harsh looks. The tears. The scowls. I’ve seen it all.
Friends with Benefits?
Do I have to try and classify where hubby and I stand? We are evolving. We are deciding what we like…what we want…what works for us.
We’ve learned so many things along our 2+ year journey of an open relationship.
- Communication is a must! – Anyone in a healthy open relationship will tell you that the only way it works is by keeping the line of communication open. We talk often… it’s a necessity if we want our marriage to work.
- We aren’t out to offend anyone. – This is OUR love story. We won’t push it in your face. We didn’t make this choice to make YOU uncomfortable.
- It’s okay to say NO!! – Consent is everything. Whether you’re single, dating, married, or whatever. It’s okay to say NO.
- We are not bad people. – We are two consenting adults who are honest with each other and with the other people we choose to engage with. We aren’t cheating because there is no secret.
- It is possible to love multiple people at one time. – If I expect Hubby to fulfill every need I have, I’m setting him up for failure.
- We are not bad parents. – My children don’t see other people coming and going. They don’t know what happens between me and other people. I will always put my children over a partner.
- We know you’re going to judge us. – Go ahead and tell us that you are “open and accepting”… we’ll believe it when we see it. Too many “friends” judge us because we are living our lives “differently”.
- I like sex. – Sex is fun. I like feeling wanted and desired. I like making others feel that way too. I learn things about myself and my sexuality by being with others.
- We don’t want to “convert” you. – You don’t want to be in an open relationship? Great! We aren’t here to try and change your mind about whether YOU belong in one, because we can only speak for ourselves.
- I love my husband more today than the day we got married 11+ years ago. – Our love has grown. We are more honest with each other. We are more vulnerable. We continue to learn about each other. We continue to fall more in love every day.
I’d much rather answer questions that people have than have you not understand me.